Many women do not realize that these can occur during perimenopause and if you have never experienced anxiety or never felt really depressed then it can be quite confusing. It is especially confusing if your life is going along like it always has, nothing has really changed.
You wonder...
Why am I feeling like this? Where did it come from? Is it my relationship? Is it my job? What is it?
I know, because I have been there. Up until a year or so ago, I had never really experienced anxiety. Well, maybe a little as a teenager or the anxiety brought on by stress, but not the "come out of nowhere anxiety". I didn't know what to do. One day I would be fine, the next day I would be a MESS! I would feel worried, I would feel panic, anxious, emotional, etc. I didn't know why. I could not figure out what had changed from yesterday to today. In many cases there was nothing that "should" be making me feel like this.
I remember driving around on a Saturday because I could not sit at home, I could not sit still and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I just had to get away. I didn't know where I wanted to go. I couldn't think straight. I was confused, anxious and unselttled. I was very emotional. Some of these times I would begin to cry for no reason so I couldn't even go for coffee!! I couldn't stop anywhere because I was crying and I could not stop myself. I didn't even know WHY I was crying!!! It was horrible!!
These feelings and moods would seem to happen on weekends. Which really sucks!! I guess because I wasn't in routine mode. During the week, life is such a routine and we just "do" things and don't really think too much, especially with a very busy life. Then the weekend would come and I hadn't planned anything and the anxiety would set it. The light depression would be there - for no reason.
I even ended a great relationship because of this. My personality changed. I lost my sex drive completely, I didn't really like myself because I was bitchy and over emotional. Everything my boyfriend did seemed to irritate me. I thought it was him. I really did.
I want all of you to know that if you are going through this - please do not panic. You can change it, you don't have to go on antidepressants or synthetic hormones.
I didn't take any drugs at all. I refused. I found natural alternatives that helped turn me around. I am back to my old self again and back with my boyfriend.
If you are going through this, it may be hard for you to talk to someone or perhaps they do not understand so you feel all alone and are convinced there is something wrong with you. Please don't think that. You are fine. Know that your hormones are just going crazy right now. Remember being a teenager? Basically this is the same thing.
In my next post I will tell you what I did that worked and what you can do. What helps is to understand that this anxiety and depression you are experiencing right now is probably hormonal imbalance. You can do something about it and you don't have to feel like this anymore. Believe me...I know. I felt like I was under a dark cloud and when I found my way out of it...it was like stepping out into the sunshine and clear blue skies. It was wonderful!!
Please stay tuned. Breathe......do something that makes YOU feel good. When I was going through this phase I took a lot of hot baths and would have a cup of tea or wine and read. I couldn't be around anyone. That is when the book "Eat, Pray, Love" came out and I read that. If you have not read it - READ IT!!!What an escape!! Love it!
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